watching you

If I could love, this is it.

I hate to say goodbye to you, because... you are the last person I ever want to say goodbye to.
So I will be strong for you. Because I know I will see you again and I will still be here, the same old me, at this same spot where you left, I will be waiting here where the spot you left would not be taken. So come back, and fill up this spot again. There were a few points in time today, where I secretly took little memory snap shots of you as we were going about simple routines...watching you make a purchase... watching you smile to yourself as you reflect on certain memory flashbacks of people... watching you as you sit beside me with your head bowed as you said a prayer... watching the way you eat and stir your favourite vegetable and rice together with this very cute circular movement with your cutlery... Just watching you. If I could...I would be so selfish as to steal you away from everyone and keep you with me, and tell the world that I own you and that you belong to me and only me. But that is foolish. You belong to the world. As I was walking home it hit me that you are not here. And... I wondered how many times I would be crossing that "small road" now that you are not around. And... When would I be walking you home again? I sound like a lover now don't I?

One day at a time.
One moment at a time.
One breath at a time.
I miss you love.