Just the way i'm feeling. Shuffled.

anathema

Everything seems much easier now with this walk and pace. Unlike those whom tarnish and use, with the kind of lines drawn and scripted. Those figures in character, in words, in songs, in memory, and in all to come, is despised. How ever far, how ever great, now or later, will fall through. Their glory shall be brief and never knowing all that was lost. I look upon that name, not in pride. Even if it were to rise, I shutter at those phony. Chase all that is nothing but the wind. And when the wind dies down, so will they die.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away.
The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses

I didn't realize how unreasonably angry we could be. Not in a sane logical mind. Despite the many restraints we instill upon ourselves. How we bind our hands, heart and mind silently away from the watching eyes of the world and from evil itself. And all humanity can do is let it burn till nothing but remains, remains. Like I said, it is all nothing. But the wind. And all this too, shall pass.

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On a side note... BayBeats'08 anyone?
Put on some shoes, throw your hair back, kick some sand around, and bring on the live.
Some sticks and stones would be good too.
I'll see you there.

fixate

Wake to sleep.

That's what I read.

Songs are the only familiar medium. To draw back a memory, to bring back words, to relive moments. To remember. I have this subconscious habit to tag certain songs to certain significants. So when ever the play list hits a particular song- flash.

What gets you through exactly. Which weighs. How much do you let in or let go.

I remember about the same time this year, I saw the sun set, along with the vacant blocks in time, and there came that experiment, by the bay. I felt the heat, the pulse. We lived on those jumps, those highs. Believing that it was possible, that all was suppose to be a part of a part.

May I always be a rebel during the same time this year next year.

Only when I hold the wheels of life in my hands do I feel alive.

coeval

There is no plan. There is no sign.
Just knowing that sleeping means waking.

tumble and fall

You know how shit happens? And you don’t understand why it does? But it did. And you are stunned. But you move on? Some how?

Yea… that’s the cycle. And it's on repeat.

So they say “Many things happen for a reason”. But they forgot or intentionally forget the remaining most crucial part of the saying “But you will only see the reason after you survive what happened and after a few months/years/centuries/decades have passed. HAHA.” Ok you get the drift.

I wouldn't have known or believed if anyone had told me that I would be here today in this time and situation in life. Now I understand why certain things fell apart and away. And I am glad it did. Because I get to save and care for someone I love. I get to be at a place at a position at a turning point in life. In my own and in someone else's life.

I took a step back, and took a free fall to see clearly what remains. And there is so much evidence in the nothingness. It was all just a chase for the wind.