Resuming this skin is painful. Knowing how much you could do without and then returning to what you are made to live with. Stepping into a world without technology & lights has brought pedestal thoughts into place. You question yourself repeatedly how much will you give up of this to live in minimal. But then you fall into the same hectic again and all that was, was.

Everything in my life has been pulled like a rug from under me. I am falling like Alice. But there is no bed nor concrete floors or ceiling to cushion this drop. I am colliding into every piece of furniture winged at me. I cannot duck without gravity. I do not feel too well to be out of bed. But I guess a little crowd could do some remedy. I am not doing too good. And yes, I cannot do anything about it.

In a vacuum I scream without a vibration without a sound.

When I finally touched your shoulder with my bare flesh...

You were gone.

Like a camera, the focus was overwhelming. Too clear. Too close for comfort.

The fine details made me cringe.. instinctively my hands reached for my heart and chest...
A sting that lingers.

In the background wanting out.

I fade on the front
Obediently, blending into the only thing that is left.

We were running and I held onto your towel before meeting your hands.

You were wearing a yellow shirt.

I was chasing a dream then.

I left it to the gods.

And they tossed us together that morning.

Nothing.

But a memory now.

Bright star! would I were steadfast as thou art—

Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night,

And watching, with eternal lids apart,

Like Nature’s patient sleepless Eremite,

The moving waters at their priestlike task

Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores,

Or gazing on the new soft fallen mask

Of snow upon the mountains and the moors—

No—yet still steadfast, still unchangeable,

Pillow’d upon my fair love’s ripening breast,

To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,

Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,

Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,

And so live ever—or else swoon to death.

-J.K-