The simple act of sitting in a train by the window looking out at the fields passing by. No skyscrapers or towering shelters. Just fields and tracks. Nothing higher than the eyes can see. I watch the world go by. I am here. The sun is warm today. I'm reading and looking up at the changing scenes. 

She woke up into a life that she had never envisioned. After years of questioning the living and breaking down wrong doors, even shattered windows she climbed through on all fours. Unknowingly she walked through the darkest portal filled with numerous trials and tribulations, funerals and rebirth. The stars aligned and with the right amount of force it pushed her through the last hurdle into the greatest unknown. 

It was different. The most unique of them all. The kind that while collecting death's certificate you smile and in love's loss there is an ironic insider joke. A really good one. 

Here's to the one that stayed. 

"When a vacuum form, something has to come along to fill it." 

"He does not exist here, with me, but flesh that does not exist will never die, and promises unmade are never broken."

Mental acuity was never born from comfortable circumstances.

"That pain you’re feeling is directly proportional to how much you loved and were loved."

When a push comes to a shove you will be sacrificed. Naive little one how could you forget. The tendency to be swept away to think that it won't happen to you is foolish. You are just another pawn in their chess match. A useful piece sliding across checkered tiles to be placed in positions to make difficult decisions. So you killed yourself. 

All that is left is a handful of disappointments one after another. Constant rearrangement of their placements. 

Now. You are no longer the same.