Never mix business with pleasure. This statement haunts me every time. I had taken a barrel of oil, poured it over every score sheet, floor, heart, fingers, beliefs, hope and instrument. With a match I set everything ablaze, collected every fragments and placed my ash into an urn.

How do I begin again. I can no longer speak or write the same way. Stay up late with a pencil, paper, inspiration... Give it back. Everything. I want it back.