Finally at the edge
Exploring paths that do not exist
Just keep walking
Keep the songs playing
I know I have done wrong
No excuses just leaning in to what ever that needs to be said
Only sorry that I broke me in trying to save
That the vessel was no longer holding
And the need to feel an escape like time is not running out
Maybe selfish contradictions smears all justifications
There is concrete works in progress
How paths changed and maps do not sync
I walked the in between
It is loud.
I think a part of my psyche was hurt
And my own assumptions or misreading came into play
Logic I grasp but can’t internalize
There is consequence in not thinking
The cost of thought, I now reflect.
The worse part of me took over for a spin
Unleashing pure unchecked rage and spite
In that instant I’m scared by who I became
So this is the price I pay for being too close for comfort
The more we jump these lines I burn at the stake
I can’t keep up with the act
I’m done.
You do this thing; leading up the garden path and ultimatums
You are winning at this and I recognise that I can’t surpass you
Taking more than just an embrace and that is fine because you do not discern and I disregard
How convenient all this is, isn’t it?
The things you want are dangerous
Because it means you jump the lines and I pay the price
As I see the end I will give you my goodbye
Leaning on this cold steel, she deserved it
Who is this tearing on the train after talking about imposters
She is and she knows it doesn’t leave after all this time it really hasn’t
But it would had been a comfort to hear it from you on what you had to say
Either she will laugh or roll her eyes it just isn’t the same if it’s not you
Putting out fires as she held her breath to fight it while taking in the smokes
Knowing the end of it would be a reward that made it worth going
But she wasn’t prepared for company not now not this time
All she wanted; was you.
The steps the walk was longer
Maybe stumbling is not walking
It is just not the same
Putting a foot in front of the other was heavier
Unable to go faster without falling off the edge
So yesterday was an indemnity
Not knowing you needed saving
Honesty became a scarcity
How could she save when she needed saving
How did I come up in your mind when the music played or when the words hit your mouth
Did you see me in the screens or it felt like a familiar scene
When the wait lingered longer in our minds and it was special during the in between
Did it felt the same where you are in the moment and only one that comes to mind who would get it at the level it hits
Would it be safe to share this or would you implode like back in Millenia how it all unravels differently where my response would be another chaos
But I hope it didn’t wreck the image of me if I left you with songs and that is how you remember me by I guess it wasn’t so bad after all.
